Needing Something

I've been struggling in school lately. I'm not talking having some difficulty with some topics, but just really struggling to get my head on straight. I'm not sure what it's been that has been my problem. Well, I do know that it started off a difficult semester, but that doesn't seem to explain the stuff I'm going through.

On the one hand, I think I understand the stuff I'm studying. But then, I totally flop on the tests. I can't say this has never happened before, but I can say that it's never happened in such a way that I couldn't fix it. I just have not seemed to be able to fix this problem. The harder I worked, the worse it seemed to get.

The weekend before last, I got the results from the previous test (Friday) and took that evening and Saturday off from studying. Didn't crack a book. Instead, I prayed.

Well, since then, I've tried to pray, but haven't been consistent with times and such, but I do pray in an unstructured way.

I had a test on Monday. We'll see how I did. I hope well, but if not, I'm not going to sweat it. If I fail this one class, I'll retake it. I don't want to have to do that, but...to God be the glory, regardless of if I like the outcome or not.

My problem is that I keep making this about me. "It means I'm stupid." Blah, blah, blah. I'm not stupid. I have the same amount of brain that got me here. But, I'm only as successful at getting As on tests as God will allow me to be. Perhaps there is a problem within me. Why couldn't it have been straightened out before? Maybe I would not have been as receptive. I don't know, but I do know that I am a mere human on the face of a small planet, located in some spot in the great wide universe, that we barely understand.

I will do what I can, and not sweat the rest.

Regi G