What's the Limit?

Many Christians have this notion that we are to give and give and give and give to others, and when it hurts, we keep on giving.

However, what do we do when someone is taking advantage of our giving? Here are some examples:

1. In good faith, you exchange time at work with someone. That person never returns the favor.

2. You forgive your brother for "borrowing" your money and never paying you back.

3. Someone enjoys your forgiving nature, but is quick to judge you, even when that person is guilty of the same "crime," or worse.

4. A spouse is abusive.

5. An employer works you hard and never says "thanks," and even throws a fit when you need time off to care for your ailing family member.

Are we supposed to be so understanding, forgiving, kind, etc., all the things we have been taught that we should be by other Christians, some of whom do not abide by this rule, themselves?

The answer is: that depends. The Bible puts a limit on the hurt a spouse may do to another spouse, but the Lord never says divorce is commanded in such a case. Rather, we may divorce in certain circumstances, if we think we need to for...a viariety of reasons.

Christians are humans, after all, and divorce is part of the human condition. In fact, many rifts between people are a result of sin. I think that, to some degree, as long as you aren't one to take advantage, you have a choice in how to approach a variety of situations, but you are not required to do the more benevolent thing.

Neither do I think that if you decline to do the "more benevolent thing," that makes you less benevolent than someone else. In fact, depending on the situation, it can reveal benevolence to a great degree; that also depends on the person viewing the events. God is the one we really need to worry about.

If we, for whatever reason, cannot continue to allow someone to sin because we are around, whether that person sees their deeds as sin or not, it is a benevolent thing to remove ourselves from the situation.

What if someone has an illness? I say, give to your limit, then remove yourself. At least, take time away to renew.

I think we Christians, in the well-meaning goal of acting with love, forget that the human "love tank" is only so big, and we must find the Lord and renew. Sometimes, that means we are taken out of someone's life, either temporarily or permanently.

Life is hard, and some of our experiences are traumatic. God can heal any wound, but that doesn't mean he always will. There are reasons that God allows such deep wounds to remain. In that case, we must do our best to point back to Him (but remember that even Jesus took breaks from His followers).

If the times of renewal aren't renewing, it may be that we need a longer time of renewal. The question is, are we Christians honest enough to admit when we are no longer loving someone, in order to get that refreshing break?

Regi

Stephen J. Gould, the...theologist?

In his paper, "The Panda's Peculiar Thumb," Dr. Gould expressed the following idea:

"If God had designed a beautiful machine to reflect his wisdom and power, surely he would not have used a collection of parts generally fashioned for other purposes."

This was a treatise from science on the topic of evolution. Yet, there is this bit of conjecture about what God would do, if there is such a being.

This is not an argument from science. It sounds like an argument from incredulity.

If Stephen J. Gould can do it, why not me?

What is Sin?

I want to get this article up, because it's important, but a fuller exposition must wait.

In short, I think that sin is those thoughts and activities which bring harm to ourselves and others. This is, obviously, a very skeletal explanation of sin, but it will have to do for now.

One reason for why I think this is that the Bible says, "All things are permissible, but not all are beneficial." To me, this says that we can do just about anything our minds can conceive, and no one will stop us, but that doesn't mean we should do them.

The Bible also lists the things God hates, which are the chief sins, and nearly all others are derivatives of these. The Ten Commandments also guide us in knowing what sin is. I think we all know what sin is. It is doing wrong. How deeply we consider sin to go is nearly individual, with more guidance from scripture letting us know that our thoughts can be sinful, especially if we indulge the thoughts.

Hopefully this is a start in knowing why God hates sin and that it has nothing to do with giving Him some reason to punish us, or to kill our fun.

How To Become a Christian

I wrote some articles on the subjects of becoming a Christian, finding a church and baptism.

1. How Do I Become a Christian?
2. Now You're a Christian: The Next Step
3. ...And After That

I hope you find these articles helpful. The last two could use a little expansion.

Pride and Prejudice

In perhaps her most beloved novel Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen wrote, in chapter 5, in the voice of the character Mary,

"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us."

Thinking about this, I suppose that she is right. On the whole, I'm more vain than proud. I am spurred on by my lack of regard for myself, and hope that others recognize my efforts, gifts and talents. I do not have great respect for myself, though there are things I like about myself. I would rather others have respect for me than that I should have respect for myself. I tend to dote on others' achievements, but in regard to my own, start with feet-shuffling and blushing, then feel guilty about my not downplaying anything I've done, enough. This is not merely show, though it does begin that way. Before long, I've talked myself into shame of demonstrating pride to another.

I think that vanity and pride are on a continuum of self-importance. Legalism leads to vanity, and "grace without requirement" leads to pride. I think that is why we must take the Gospel and the book of James, together.

We are given grace, and by definition, there are no strings attached. However, the consequence of grace is a longing to return some measure of the gift given to us. This shows that we have, indeed, received grace. I think that this is what James is saying, but I am not a theologian and haven't read James in a while.

Being able to say, "I am a worm," without any shred of vanity is a mark of having received grace. But how many of us can truly say that? How many of us can say, "I have received Christ" without any hint of pride? And if we concentrate on the constructs of our speech, hoping not to betray pride, are we being vain?

Being careful to always say the right thing--this is vanity. Refusing to change and thinking that no change is needed, or else that what we are is as good or better than what everyone else is--this is pride.

I think, really, these two issues have the same source, and only differ in respect to what angle we're working. Vanity is either a false front given to get something we think we deserve or pushing forward our achievements, however subtly, to get that recognition or reward. In the latter case, perhaps vanity is pride on viagra.

Pride, I think, rewards the self instead of seeking to elicit the reward from someone else. When we come to God, in search of His grace, it is because we can no longer be filled by our pride, and vanity is either completely unfulfilled, or like pride, no longer fulfills.

When we have received grace and still have vanity and pride issues, what do we do then? I think that we are supposed to find emotional sustenance in the love of the Lord. Self-esteem is the world's version of this. When God says, "You are so valuable, I will send my Son to die for you so that you can be with me," it means just that: we have value. This is different from self-esteem.

This is, instead, taking the Lord at His word. We can now say, "I was such a worm, before, and even then, God saw the value in me." The value is already there, and it is no more and no less than that belonging to any other human being. We have worth, but it does not come from ourselves, so it's inappropriate to call it "self-worth."

Rather, we seek to see ourselves with sobriety. Read for context 1 Peter 1:13. Consider praying to see yourself with sobriety, with clarity and discernment; this way, you may recognize what things need to change and what things need to stay the same, and start with the realization that we were fearfully and wonderfully made, that God values us in spite of our past, so much as to die for us, and consider jumping off the "self-esteem" bandwagon,  and be ready to accept every challenge as a challenge for God, and see our gifts and talents as those important assets that God has given us, protecting them from those who would steal or attenuate them.

This is not pride in self, but a recognition of the kind of God we serve. Let us boast in Him.

Regi G

Technorati Tags: Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen, Bible, self-esteem, self-worth

Christian's Prayer and Science

Obviously, I am a Christian, and I obviously claim to be a [student] scientist.

This has not changed. I've been through some major storms, personal storms that everyone experiences, some of my own making (sin) and some storms that have a unique angle for every individual (doubt).

I have just come through all of these to the power of ten. Perhaps it's not the worst storm that could have been, nor is the resolution complete, but it hasn't been easy, trying to hang on to my faith in the face of evolutionary mantra. But I have done it. Or rather, it's held on to me.

Do I believe in God, Jesus and the whole Bible hooplah? Yes, I do. And this is why: in the darkest place of my severest doubt, when I could barely think anything other than that I was becoming a skeptic, I did not pray. I have prayed my whole life, but I just couldn't bring myself to pray. I could barely stand corporate worship. It seemed so fake. I would look at others and it seemed like a show. For some, I still believe it was. I needed to see genuine faith to keep mine, and I did.

There are cynics, scientist and non-scientist, who bet their futures, their belief, on the fact that all who worship God, or even a god, are fake. Yet, I don't believe these people allow themselves to know Christians and to find those who have genuine faith. But this is a tall order, and it's risky, so I understand why many don't do it, why they throw up their hands and shout to heaven, "Forget it!"

I almost did the same thing, and I was a genuine Christian for over half my life.

Then, through the love and faith of my sister-in-law, my cynicism began to slough off.

My belief came to the point of, "Well, we can't prove there is no God, and I think there is one, but I'm just not for sure. I'll pray anyway, because it's a comfort to me, and even if the prayer isn't being heard, and all it does is focus my mind, it can't hurt."

But, I have to say that there is a huge difference in outcomes for people. Some disingenuous people use prayer to get what they want out of life, and nothing more. Obviously, some don't even pray. There are a few, of whom I hope I am one, who pray, not just for what they want, but what they think is God's will, and this type of praying yields proof-positive results, in an unscientific way, that is. This is an individual thing--one must try it, live it, believe it, for it to be known to be true. That's the odd thing about it.

A characteristic of some of these prayers' answers is the immediacy that comes with them. Some of the prayers I've prayed were out of desperation. Immediately, I become filled with peace, or my thought patterns change, completely, or I get some sort of call out of nowhere. This happened today. To me, this says that there is no time for me to direct my focus and induce the change myself.

Another characteristic of the answers to prayer such a one receives is that the means are rarely ever how they were expected to be, and the outcome is always much more meaningful or complete than supposed. It may take a life-time to render, to see the prayer answered, but sometimes, you can see little ways in which it is being answered, and again, some of these are immediate.. It never has to do with the one praying getting what they think they deserve.

Now, that is not to say that I've never prayed a selfish prayer. I have, many times. I've even prayed that someone "get theirs." But the prayer is only rarely answered the way I expect, and someone "getting theirs" turns out to teach me lessons I didn't want to learn.

This was true before my deepest doubt, it was lost during it, and it's true now. I'm still climbing out of the whole I made for myself, though, and the one made for me--prying those nails out of the coffin. To me, I'm kind of like the knockout mouse, which is performed over several generations of mice, though, and there's only one me.

Also, this fact for me may be experienced in other religions, as well. I would have to speak to someone from another religion to know anything about that. Christians are directed to pray God's will, though, so I can see how that may be specific to us. I fully believe that God has made a way for everyone to believe in Him and that none will perish without fully rejecting Him, which means full knowledge of Him that is necessary for such a decision.

Life is never easy. Prayer has made a huge difference for me.