What's the Limit?

Many Christians have this notion that we are to give and give and give and give to others, and when it hurts, we keep on giving.

However, what do we do when someone is taking advantage of our giving? Here are some examples:

1. In good faith, you exchange time at work with someone. That person never returns the favor.

2. You forgive your brother for "borrowing" your money and never paying you back.

3. Someone enjoys your forgiving nature, but is quick to judge you, even when that person is guilty of the same "crime," or worse.

4. A spouse is abusive.

5. An employer works you hard and never says "thanks," and even throws a fit when you need time off to care for your ailing family member.

Are we supposed to be so understanding, forgiving, kind, etc., all the things we have been taught that we should be by other Christians, some of whom do not abide by this rule, themselves?

The answer is: that depends. The Bible puts a limit on the hurt a spouse may do to another spouse, but the Lord never says divorce is commanded in such a case. Rather, we may divorce in certain circumstances, if we think we need to for...a viariety of reasons.

Christians are humans, after all, and divorce is part of the human condition. In fact, many rifts between people are a result of sin. I think that, to some degree, as long as you aren't one to take advantage, you have a choice in how to approach a variety of situations, but you are not required to do the more benevolent thing.

Neither do I think that if you decline to do the "more benevolent thing," that makes you less benevolent than someone else. In fact, depending on the situation, it can reveal benevolence to a great degree; that also depends on the person viewing the events. God is the one we really need to worry about.

If we, for whatever reason, cannot continue to allow someone to sin because we are around, whether that person sees their deeds as sin or not, it is a benevolent thing to remove ourselves from the situation.

What if someone has an illness? I say, give to your limit, then remove yourself. At least, take time away to renew.

I think we Christians, in the well-meaning goal of acting with love, forget that the human "love tank" is only so big, and we must find the Lord and renew. Sometimes, that means we are taken out of someone's life, either temporarily or permanently.

Life is hard, and some of our experiences are traumatic. God can heal any wound, but that doesn't mean he always will. There are reasons that God allows such deep wounds to remain. In that case, we must do our best to point back to Him (but remember that even Jesus took breaks from His followers).

If the times of renewal aren't renewing, it may be that we need a longer time of renewal. The question is, are we Christians honest enough to admit when we are no longer loving someone, in order to get that refreshing break?

Regi