Christian's Prayer and Science

Obviously, I am a Christian, and I obviously claim to be a [student] scientist.

This has not changed. I've been through some major storms, personal storms that everyone experiences, some of my own making (sin) and some storms that have a unique angle for every individual (doubt).

I have just come through all of these to the power of ten. Perhaps it's not the worst storm that could have been, nor is the resolution complete, but it hasn't been easy, trying to hang on to my faith in the face of evolutionary mantra. But I have done it. Or rather, it's held on to me.

Do I believe in God, Jesus and the whole Bible hooplah? Yes, I do. And this is why: in the darkest place of my severest doubt, when I could barely think anything other than that I was becoming a skeptic, I did not pray. I have prayed my whole life, but I just couldn't bring myself to pray. I could barely stand corporate worship. It seemed so fake. I would look at others and it seemed like a show. For some, I still believe it was. I needed to see genuine faith to keep mine, and I did.

There are cynics, scientist and non-scientist, who bet their futures, their belief, on the fact that all who worship God, or even a god, are fake. Yet, I don't believe these people allow themselves to know Christians and to find those who have genuine faith. But this is a tall order, and it's risky, so I understand why many don't do it, why they throw up their hands and shout to heaven, "Forget it!"

I almost did the same thing, and I was a genuine Christian for over half my life.

Then, through the love and faith of my sister-in-law, my cynicism began to slough off.

My belief came to the point of, "Well, we can't prove there is no God, and I think there is one, but I'm just not for sure. I'll pray anyway, because it's a comfort to me, and even if the prayer isn't being heard, and all it does is focus my mind, it can't hurt."

But, I have to say that there is a huge difference in outcomes for people. Some disingenuous people use prayer to get what they want out of life, and nothing more. Obviously, some don't even pray. There are a few, of whom I hope I am one, who pray, not just for what they want, but what they think is God's will, and this type of praying yields proof-positive results, in an unscientific way, that is. This is an individual thing--one must try it, live it, believe it, for it to be known to be true. That's the odd thing about it.

A characteristic of some of these prayers' answers is the immediacy that comes with them. Some of the prayers I've prayed were out of desperation. Immediately, I become filled with peace, or my thought patterns change, completely, or I get some sort of call out of nowhere. This happened today. To me, this says that there is no time for me to direct my focus and induce the change myself.

Another characteristic of the answers to prayer such a one receives is that the means are rarely ever how they were expected to be, and the outcome is always much more meaningful or complete than supposed. It may take a life-time to render, to see the prayer answered, but sometimes, you can see little ways in which it is being answered, and again, some of these are immediate.. It never has to do with the one praying getting what they think they deserve.

Now, that is not to say that I've never prayed a selfish prayer. I have, many times. I've even prayed that someone "get theirs." But the prayer is only rarely answered the way I expect, and someone "getting theirs" turns out to teach me lessons I didn't want to learn.

This was true before my deepest doubt, it was lost during it, and it's true now. I'm still climbing out of the whole I made for myself, though, and the one made for me--prying those nails out of the coffin. To me, I'm kind of like the knockout mouse, which is performed over several generations of mice, though, and there's only one me.

Also, this fact for me may be experienced in other religions, as well. I would have to speak to someone from another religion to know anything about that. Christians are directed to pray God's will, though, so I can see how that may be specific to us. I fully believe that God has made a way for everyone to believe in Him and that none will perish without fully rejecting Him, which means full knowledge of Him that is necessary for such a decision.

Life is never easy. Prayer has made a huge difference for me.